Suzy Homemaker or...

... why so many women think all homemakers do is clean, cook and primp in front of the mirror.

Pancakes will wait a while

On Frugal Hacks there's a poll: Do you CVS?

For those who don't know, it's possible, because of the way CVS has structured a particular incentive program, to use coupons, rebates, sales, and the incentive program to walk into a CVS and come out with a huge amount of stuff for next to or absolutely nothing. Money Saving Mom talks about this on her blog, so if you're interested I recommend reading her description.

I don't CVS. For many reasons.*

First, at the risk of sounding self-righteous, I have to say that I don't feel comfortable with the ethics of it. Maybe I'm just bad at the math of it but the concept of walking out of a store with something for free just because the store didn't think through the consequences of a particular program sounds like cheating, at best. Store owners have families to feed as well... or maybe it's just that I hate getting something for absolutely nothing. I hesitate saying this because there are a lot of gray areas when it comes to frugality. The CVS thing just doesn't feel right to me.

Second, I don't use most of the stuff CVS sells. And I don't want to pass on much of that stuff to my friends. My health has improved so dramatically since I cut out most of those chemicals that the idea of passing along tons of stuff to my friends that might make them sick... we'll I'd rather just make bath salts or other beauty aids here at home and put them in pretty containers.

Asking in advance about allergies, of course. ;)

Finally -- and again, I hesitate saying this, but I feel it needs to be said -- I worry that the CVS thing fosters a bad attitude about savings.

In Bleak House by Charles Dickens there's a character called Richard Carstone, one of those in the novel waiting for a lawsuit to finally divvy up an inheritance. He's a likeable guy, very sympathetic character, with a fatal flaw... he doesn't understand money. More than once in the novel Dickens points out (through the main character) how Carstone's misunderstanding of the word "savings" actually puts him in deeper debt. Just because I happen to love Dickens, I'll quote what I feel sums up Carstone's attitude:

"My prudent Mother Hubbard, why not?" he said to me when he wanted, without the least consideration, to bestow five pounds on the brickmaker. "I made ten pounds clear out of Coavinses' business."
"How was that?" said I.
"Why, I got rid of ten pounds I was quite content to get rid of, and never expected to see anymore. You don't deny that?"
"No," said I.
"Very well! Then I came into possession of ten pounds--"
"The same ten pounds," I hinted.
"That has nothing to do with it!" returned Richard. "I have got ten pounds more than I expected to have, and consequently I can afford to spend it without being particular." (pages 86-87 Riverside edition)

Carstone acts as if money he's saved is extra money... when in fact, it's money he originally had that needed, and still needs to be, put towards necessities or invested so that he can make more money later.

Now, I'm not saying that people who shop at CVS use the same logic. But I am worried at the change in attitude from frugality=using less to frugality=buying more stuff you don't need to save more, even if you really can somehow manage to spend less. IMO, it's too easy to slip into unhealthy "frugal" habits if you're used to thinking of the money you spend to save money as "money you wouldn't have otherwise". I know because I used to do this a lot early in my marriage. Before long, instead of having extra, you end up wondering where it all went.

Maybe it's with the post about pancakes I have yet to do. :P

So, I applaud those who CVS simply from an organizational standpoint, but I think I'll just stick with learning to live without. It seems to work better for me and my family.

*Just to be clear, I don't think any less of people who CVS. I've gotten a lot of good tips and advice from Money Saving Mom and other blogs by those who CVS. Not only that, they seem like good people. They simply draw their frugal boundaries in a different place than I do.

Christmas Eve

I've almost finished the doll dresses I decided to make for my girls. Just a little hand sewing and they're done. I haven't gotten Mr. Vinca's present yet. Nothing has been wrapped yet. I have stocking stuffers and plan on making wassail tonight for our reading of the Christmas Story. I hope to make some dairy-free fudge as well (another recipe contained in Traci's Transformational Recipe Collection... review coming soon) and some cashew butter cookies. We'll see how this afternoon goes.

However, no matter how little decorations we have up this year, I'm having fun this Christmas. I managed to stay on top of the Advent calendar... which helped tremendously with the "When is Christmas?" demands. Our family has another little member and he's fitting in very well. We've learned a lot about health and priorities this past year and it's showing in everyone's health and good spirits this Christmas. This will probably also be the last Christmas where we focus so much on being home together. Next year is probably going to be full of community events and getting the kids out and around more... especially our little Social Butterflies. So, this is the last year I'll have for a while where things will be relatively quiet.

I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

Training kids to do chores

I really like Kimberly Eddy's e-books, especially Thriving On One Income. One of these days I'm going to review it just so I can allow myself to gush about it in public. When I found out she had a blog, I bookmarked it (I'm old-fashioned) and visit it from time to time. This post really hit home with me, especially now that I've got seven little ones to look after. I didn't do very well with training the older kids to do chores around the house, but at least they can take care of themselves: get dressed, clean their room, make their bed, etc. This post inspired me to expand outward so that they won't be lost when it comes to taking care of a house once they've moved out and so that I won't become exhausted cleaning up after seven people.

At least, I hope the future economy lets them move out. I'd hate for them to feel stuck here.

Anyway... the post: Training Little Helpers Into Big Ones

Christmas is coming

And I'm not even close to ready. At least I've got the toys for the kids and I have a few decorations up. No tree this year since I have nightmarish visions of my toddler yanking out all the branches. Instead, we have a mini-tree on the fireplace mantle. We've kind of managed to keep up with our advent calender, mostly because one of my kids has been obsessing about keeping up with it. :)

Today, we finish buying what we need for Christmas dinner and I get to work on the last bit of stuff for the presents. Hopefully, we'll be able to go see Christmas lights for our family activity this week. It's been a tradition every year but this one has turned out unseasonably cold and miserable. I'm not sure I want to go driving around with a little newborn in this kind of weather. We may just stay home, read a book, and drink some dairy-free, sugar-free hot cocoa... or better yet, some wassail.

My goal? To have Christmas Eve completely free of any activity beyond relaxing on the couch with my husband.

Tips on Haggling

Since Christmas is almost here and the last weekend for Christmas shopping is almost upon us, I thought I might post this video from The Street.com about haggling. The savings may not be big, but maybe someone will find it useful, especially if they can manage to get 20% more off an already deeply discounted item they need but may not be able to afford.



And this is my first embedded video post! Go me!

Okay, I'll calm down now. :)

A New Addition to Our Family

That's right, we have a new baby in our family. Unlike all my other children, this one came almost exactly on his due date (give or take a couple of days ;).

My posting is going to be spotty for the next month and will consist more of links I found interesting than interesting posts. But I am back.

One last thought before I end this post. I don't think my priority list has ever been more handy than now. I really wish I'd had that back when I was first starting as a homemaker: I don't think I would have floundered nearly as much or given my husband nearly as much grief. If you haven't already written one, I highly recommend it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The plan this year is very simple. We're staying at home, we're going to eat a lot of veggies, very little meat (if any) and we're going to relax. I'm due this weekend, so I am not up to my usual "get the turkey in the oven first thing in the morning and work, work, work, until I crash that night" kind of Thanksgiving.

This means I feel more than a little lost. I don't even have a timetable this year and it's already late morning. But we've had sprouted wheat pancakes this morning, so that's good. And I do have a menu planned out so that's also good.

It won't be the best Thanksgiving ever, but it won't be a disaster either.

And now, in honor of the holiday, I'm grateful I have the opportunity to stay home with my children. I'm grateful for women who write wonderful blogs that help motivate me and strengthen me in my efforts to be a good homemaker. I'm grateful for women who write books I can keep on my shelves for times when I'm discouraged and know that if I turn on the computer the last thing I'll be doing is something productive. I am grateful for so much more, but that's a start for today.

Baby Prep Update

So far I've:

• Cleared out half the clutter in the master bedroom.
• Gotten two meals large enough for our family in the freezer (thank you Mega Menu Mailer for helping me organize that).

Still needs to be done:

• Finish organizing my room.
• Get caught up on laundry and organize the laundry room (so that if anyone tries to help out they won't be completely lost).
• Make five more freezer meals by Monday of next week.
• Get most of Thanksgiving in the freezer or refrigerator next week so that I'll have next to nothing to do on the actual day (my due date is two days after Thanksgiving... can you believe that?).

Thank goodness Mr. Vinca has taken over a lot of things already in the house. He has always been a tremendous support each time another little one joins our family. This year, more than ever, I'm grateful for him.

Buying (Some) Food in Bulk

Just thought it might be helpful to those out there to know where we get our grains from since I'm going to be talking about our journey through pancakes pretty soon.

We get our hard red winter wheat (our primary grain) through LDS Distribution.

Long-grain brown rice, kasha, oatmeal, and most of our legumes come through Wal-Mart.

Specialty grains like millet and red lentils are acquired through a local health food store.

We're trying to find a source for buckwheat, rye and short-grain brown rice. When my husband worked downtown, he was able to purchase 40 lbs of short-grain brown rice at an Asian grocery store. It worked beautifully and I felt so sad when we finally used it all up. I love short-grain brown rice. Its stickiness makes it a perfect substitute for white rice in so many ways.

I think we're going to try Bob's Red Mill, though we may also go with another distributor we've been hearing about. Once we decide what we're going to do, and actually have the grain in our hot little hands, I'll blog and let the world know if it worked or not.

So, why on earth do we do this? We've found that grinding the grain ourselves (or soaking and sprouting the grain) has helped our health tremendously. Whatever extra cost is involved in buying that much at once is offset both by the return in the food itself (cost per ounce) and the fact that it fills our stomachs more than processed grains/foods. We've also found that having a wide variety of grains is crucial to following this plan of buying grains/legumes in bulk. Without the wide variety, you not only miss out on crucial nutrients but it just gets boring. Wheat is pretty versatile, so it's not too bad, but still... there's only so much soaked/sprouted/soured wheat a person can handle.

Tomorrow I'm going to start talking about our Thanksgiving plans.

Review: More With Less Cookbook

I've decided to review a cookbook two or three times a month since I've tried out various kinds over the past ten years. I've decided to start with the More With Less cookbook because it doesn't get any more basic than what's inside this book.

Summary: Great cookbook for those just starting to cook from scratch and save money. Best for those with some experience cooking and/or baking. True beginners may want to try something like Better Homes and Gardens just to get their feet wet (Note: link is only there so you have an idea of what the cover looks like... my copy is about 20 years old and I got it free from a friend... I've found the older the copy the better the recipes but that could just be me).

Pros: Simple dishes with minimal use of processed items. Clear instructions. Good message regarding overconsumption and what we really need when it comes to food. Encourages using up what we eat and gives good suggestions for reducing cost. Menu "skeletons" for entertaining are not only thorough but also give a much needed freshness to entertaining others.

Cons: Old. Does not include information regarding soaking, sprouting, or souring grains to reduce phytate content. Relies heavily on soybeans in bean section; some research shows that soybeans are best eaten in a highly fermented state such as in tofu, tempeh, and miso to break down phytates which could otherwise rob the body of nutrients. Also, assumes overpopulation as an established fact when other research points toward poor agricultural practices and political games as the source for most food shortages.

The Review:

The More With Less cookbook by Doris Janzen Longacre is a collection of recipes from various Mennonite families, first collected about twenty years ago. The first part of the book describes why the book exists, including quite a bit of space devoted to overconsumption and overpopulation. Longacre makes some excellent points regarding how our diet has changed from our grandparents diet, though she doesn't mention that our grandparents ate parts of animals we would never even touch nowadays. She also makes an excellent point regarding the nature of cooking itself in a homemaking capacity: we've elevated it to a cumbersome art when it should be about good friends and family. After going over some suggestions for changing the way we approach food and meals in general, including basic nutrition, the protein question, how to transition into a "more with less" kind of menu structure for both everyday meals and entertaining, and eating with joy instead of just to fill our stomachs, we find ourselves in the recipe section.

There's a very important note at the beginning of the recipe section that I feel needs to be stressed in case someone picks up this book and tries a recipe that's "expensive". "Expensive" depends entirely on where you live. If you live near the shore or in a fishing town, seafood will likely cost much less than it would if you were further inland. I live in Texas and here beef is comparatively cheap. You can even find ground buffalo at the local Wal-Mart, something I doubt is easy to come by in a place like... Boston, for example.

Point? Use what's local to your area and you'll likely do better in your budget. Also, we've found eating regional dishes tends to help us acclimate better to our surroundings. Could just be us.

The recipes themselves are well-thought out, and there's a lot of them. A lot of time is spent on grains and beans, though obviously not with the latest information regarding soaking, sprouting, and souring. However, this is still a valuable book for those who want to cook from scratch and are overwhelmed by cookbooks that seem to have a multitude of ingredients for what sounds like a simple dish.

Most of the recipes will require some thought, especially regarding menu planning if you want to save the most money. Although there are a number of recipes that can be put together quickly, there are also a number that may take an hour or two at least -- though I have to admit that even those recipes don't require much hands-on work... just waiting, especially when it comes to making bread. There are also a number of recipes that use white flour as a default. Personally, I've found white flour to be very detrimental to my family's health. Although some recipes work if you substitute whole wheat, if you aren't used to working with whole grain flours chances are good they won't turn out the way you expect. I wasn't too impressed with many of the bread recipes for this reason. If you've never made bread before and are willing to use white flour, these recipes might be worth trying.

I also found myself disappointed by the inclusion of so many recipes calling for soybeans. I've boiled soybeans and made my own soymilk and the only thing I can say about it is that I've never been able to get over the way soybeans smell like plastic. Some people love the smell. I can't stand it. Tofu is the only soybean product I've had that I actually enjoyed.

I used to feel bad about this until I did more research and discovered that soy isn't being used the way it should be to get the maximum benefit from it. The high phytate content needs to be broken down, and has been traditionally broken down in Asian countries, through fermentation. Some miso soup bases are fermented for a couple of years at least. So, if you want to try these recipes, I would recommend looking into modifying them to take advantage of fermentation's benefits.

There are also many delicious recipes in this book for vegetables, especially greens like kale, and many ethnic dishes as well that use vegetables as a main component of the meal. The focus of the book is on meatless dishes, but there are also many recipes, including casserole recipes, that use meat. Dairy and eggs are also given a front and center treatment for those who love them. The dessert section is one of the best I've seen and fits with the other recipes in its focus on simplicity, taste, and health.

Perhaps my favorite part of the recipe section is a small column at the end of each food section entitled Gather Up the Fragments. It was here that I first started to realize how much food I wasted each time I cooked, not only in what I put into my food but also how to use what was leftover. An example is bread heels and stale bread: dice it up and put it in a blender to make your own bread crumbs. Never spend money on a can of bread crumbs again. :)

The last two sections of the book are worth mentioning separately from the rest: gardening and preserving, and snacks. Both are small, but I mention them separately for different reasons.

The gardening section has one of the best attitudes I've seen regarding this wonderful practice. Garden for the sake of joy, not out of duty. That and the tips regarding vegetables, preservation, and finding food in the wild make this a section that will whet the appetite for more information.

The snacks section is small on purpose. Most good snacks are either fruits or vegetables (we also use raw nuts). Anything more than that can be made in advance in bulk, like homemade popsicles, cookies or puddings. If your family is like mine, though, I stick with fruit and vegetables, maybe making a dip out of nuts they can use for extra flavor. If I didn't do this, they wouldn't get nearly the amount of fresh food they need for health. The recipes in this section seem to have the same philosophy because there are many "dips" and not many cracker recipes like I've seen in other cookbooks. If the information isn't enough, or lunch needs more help, I highly recommend Lunches and Snacks by Sue Gregg, who has the same philosophy in many ways as Longacre, but uses more recent data and has a stronger emphasis on kid participation in her book.

The Economy and Skills

I'm big on preparing as much as possible for future events. Often, in our house, this means tangibles, though we're working on knowledge as well and having an emergency plan.

That's why I really liked this article about Investing in Skills at The Simple Dollar. In all my preparedness research, the thing that keeps jumping out at me is knowing the people in your community. It's one of the reasons I would smile when I would hear the head of our church talk about getting involved in our communities, helping others, serving others. These bonds of friendship are the things that hold civilization together when a crisis erupts. And from what I've been reading, we're about to go into a rather nasty crisis.

I also highly endorse the concept of working on skills NOW that you may need when things get bad. When Mr. Vinca and I were first married, we had several weeks where it would be better financially if we didn't buy bread (we've always been of the opinion that food and shelter come before bills but we try to be as frugal as we can in all areas). I said that wasn't a big deal because I knew how to make bread: I learned when I was 12 and made bread on a consistent basis for my family because the family I was staying with at the time was on church welfare and always seemed to be out of bread but rarely used the flour they got. Because I had practiced so much as a young woman, it didn't take me long (one or two tries) to turn out a decent loaf for our family. I still have trouble with air bubbles at the top of the loaf (overkneading) but the bread tastes good and cooks through fine.

It took me several years to get to a point where I could easily say "no problem" to many of the challenges we've faced due to learned skills. I've learned self-sufficiency to a point where I can see I'm not really self-sufficient at all, though others might think I'm delusional for saying that. When you reach that point, you'll know it and realize how important it is to avoid becoming isolated.

Anyway, for now, I add a little to our 72 hour kits with each shopping trip. I focus on learning how to sew, both by machine and hand. I try to get my family healthy and get them used to living foods, including "bitters" and sour tastes. And at the moment, that's all we can do. Hopefully, one day we'll live on a farm and raise our own livestock, though I have to admit I'd just be happy with owning our own home again. It's more responsibility, but more opportunity as well.

Anyway, enough of my babble. Must get to work. Hope you enjoy the article.

Where I have been

Sorry it's taken me so long to blog. It's getting pretty late in my pregnancy and I've been focusing a lot on what I need to do so that my husband won't be overwhelmed when he takes over the house for the first week after the baby is born.

These things include:

• Lots of decluttering and cleaning
• Meal planning
• Freezing as many meals as I can so that all he has to do is cook the food
• Gathering necessary baby supplies
• Figuring out Thanksgiving and getting as much of that frozen/prepared in case the baby shows up early.
  

The only new item on the list is the meals. In the past, we've relied on our church to help us because that's what everyone in our church did. If you needed meals for any reason, all you had to do was call the ladies' auxiliary organization and they would organize a series of dinners for at least a week: cheerfully organize it at that. And since it was expected that everyone would return the favor, no one felt put upon. It was beautiful.

However, that has changed. I'm not entirely sure of the reason. I know that it comes from the top leaders of our church.

Anyway, here's the revised policy: meals will only be given on an emergency basis (i.e. things that are unplanned). Even then, meals will only be given for the first few days afterward. Beyond that, members need to coordinate with their local leaders.

The point of this change is to encourage self-sufficiency. After all, if you know you're going in for surgery or having a baby, you have several months sometimes to plan for the event. I think there's another reason, though, that isn't being said but that I've seen in regards to bringing meals over. I've seen it a lot because we have two children with special needs and that includes diet. There's just too many places in the old way of doing things where people with good intentions could really put a family in a bind. One time, we were given a meal we could NOT eat (this surprised us because food allergies and special considerations are always taken into account when the organization would draw up the list). We couldn't call up the family who donated the meal and tell them, "I'm sorry but there's no way we could eat this. If we do, we'll all get sick, especially my two eldest who can't handle many of the foods you've included in this meal. So, do you think you could bring us something else, something we can eat?" I've forgotten what we did. I think we broke out the peanut butter and bread... or we might have ordered out. I don't remember. But I do remember how disappointed we all were.

As wonderful as the system can be when it works (and when it works it works phenomenally well) it can also a breeding ground for resentment.

So, no more meals. A friend of mine from church got a little ticked at the policy and will be bringing us a meal for that first night afterward, and another friend will give us a meal after that, but from that point on we're on our own. And you know what? I don't really mind.

So, today is going to be spent on preparing the "birth room" (a.k.a. our bedroom) and planning out when to make these meals, as well as get a couple in the freezer. That, combined with keeping up with six kids, should take up most of my week... so, if you don't hear from me much over the next few weeks, that's what I'm doing.

Just so you know. :)

The Frugality of Cleanliness: Priorities

I talked earlier this week about the importance of setting time limits when it comes to homemaking tasks. Now, I'm going to talk about how to use those little bits of time.

When I first started out as a homemaker, I tried the card file system Pam and Peggy used. I failed miserably. I tried lists, I tried planners, I tried many things, but what I finally realized is something that was mentioned in the book Pigpen to Paradise that I had somehow missed. It was also touched on in FlyLady's system but it took reading Fascinating Womanhood before I was able to articulate what I had never been taught in all my years growing up.

Just to be clear, I had to be taught this. It wasn't something I would ever learn by osmosis. I had to learn what was important in my role as a homemaker.

The only places I've seen this mentioned are books about business or How To Be A Better Employee In 30 Seconds Or Less. As far as I know, no one sits a young person down as part of a homemaking course and says "Yes, dear, you can freeze a month's worth of meals in one day but before you do you need to make sure these other chores are done first."

Maybe I just wasn't taught well. Considering the previous generation, I don't think I'm alone in that.

FlyLady worked for me because it set the priorities for me. I do my Morning Routine first (which includes decluttering/Zone work), then whatever needs to be done for the day (according to my Basic Weekly Plan) as well as homeschool for the kids, and then I do my Before Bed Routine. And inside each routine is a list of things that take priority. But, let me say it again, it took FlyLady to set those priorities for me.

By the time I read Fascinating Womanhood, I already had a good idea of where my priorities should be. I had learned which parts of the house and which chores took priority over others. So, when I saw how Andelin broke things down in FW, it made sense. In fact, it expanded my view of homemaking.

First, I'll give a list of what I've found to be the most important chores to be done in a house. This is not set in stone. This is what I've found to be true according to my experience. Afterward, I'll explain how I expanded the list.

• Take care of yourself first. I know that doesn't make much sense, but too many women look down on themselves as homemakers because they don't know their limits and end up tired, beaten, and wearing clothes for three days straight because they don't take the time for themselves. Get up a little earlier in the morning so you're not too rushed, put on something workable but nice, and really get ready for your day.
  
• Always spend a little time every day on the bathrooms. Clear off the counters, put away any out of place items, wipe surfaces down with some soap and scrub the toilet. It takes less than 3 minutes per bathroom and you will find yourself grinning all day. Don't just do the guest bathrooms either. You deserve a clean bathroom, too.
• Make sure the family is fed and fed well: breakfast, lunch and dinner. This is something that needs frequent attention if you cook at home. Not concentrated attention... frequent. A minute before bed to see what the next day's menu -- or, if you're in our house, the next couple of days since some things we make take a few days to prepare -- a minute in the morning to make sure you're on track and a minute at noon for the same reason. I say "fed well" because the better you feed your family, the less food they'll want to eat. Try it and you'll see. Also, believe it or not, it's cheaper to eat healthy.
  
• Do the dishes every day and make sure your sink is clean at night.
• Do at least one load of laundry every day (two or three if you have a big family like ours). I tried having a laundry day and it just overwhelmed me, even after culling the unnecessaries from my kids' clothes. Maybe Laundry Day will work for you and yours but I've always ended up with too much to do every day. Thank goodness for washers and dryers or I wouldn't have a choice in the matter.
  
• Spend two minutes cleaning surfaces and five minutes cleaning the chair and floor. I try to do this for every room in the house but on days when my energy is shot, I only do the living room and dining room.
• Floors are the most important part of a room. People expect stuff to gather on surfaces. Floors have less of an excuse, not to mention the dangers of having stuff on the floor where people walk. If nothing else gets clean in a room, pick up stuff off the floor and give it a sweep if it doesn't have carpet. This especially applies to the dining room.
• Clean the kitchen after every meal. This will naturally extend out of washing the dishes, but it isn't as high a priority. It makes the top chores list because having an after-meal routine keeps your kitchen cleared and ready for cooking. It does not surpass dishes because it is possible to cook on a messy counter. Not pleasant, but it is possible.
  
• Declutter every day for fifteen minutes. This has got to be the best advice I got from FlyLady. When I do this, the mess in my house becomes much more manageable because there's less stuff to take care of. If nothing else, spend a couple of days (fifteen minutes each day) cleaning out and organizing the pantry. You'll be so very glad you did. I also apply this to rooms that have gotten out of hand. I tell myself I'm only going to spend fifteen minutes putting stuff away. It may not be perfect by the end, but it always looks better.

These are the chores I've found that take priority over everything else. When I do these every day, my stress decreases dramatically and my house almost seems to clean itself. When I'm having a day where I know I won't be able to do nearly as much as I like, having this list in my head keeps me from becoming scattered and ineffective.

In addition to this, I have a master priority list. It's organized by Most Important, Secondary, and Lower priorities and expands on the previous list.

Most Important

• My health
• My baby
• My appearance (it's a cruel fact that humans behave toward others based on appearance... this includes the glance you give yourself in the mirror)
• Kids fed/meals on time
• Clean house/walkable
• Laundry/Mr. Vinca's clothes (there's a story behind that... another time) :)

Secondary

• Homeschooling/therapy
• Deeper housecleaning
• Sewing
• Garden/sprouting
• Decluttering
• Writing/blogging

Lower

• Seasonal sorting
• Home decorating
• Organizing paperwork
• Spring cleaning
• Charity work
• Me time

By keeping to this list, I've managed to keep my priorities together and that's kept me from burning out trying to take care of the house, family, and myself. By avoiding burnout, I can stay home, which cuts all sorts of costs out of our budget. And when I stick to this list, I know when to ease up on our frugal choices and where.

Next time, I'll discuss decluttering.

The Frugality of Cleanliness Addendum: The Importance of Two Minutes

In addition to spending five minutes at a time cleaning up a room, try taking two minutes to clean off surfaces... especially those surfaces where people set stuff down "temporarily". You can put it away as part of the two minute clean up or pick things up for two minutes and put them away after the timer chirps.

If you do these two things every day, even if you only work in one room in your house, your house will look surprisingly clean.

I got this idea from FlyLady but her definition of Hot Spots is a bit broader than mine. I've found the two minute idea works great for surfaces (other than the kitchen counters) while the five minute Room Rescue works great for chairs and floors.

(One more thing... I'm not perfect in this. I've spent half of my homemaker years pregnant and cleaning was often the last thing I ended up doing. But sticking to the little bits of time, though it hasn't kept my house spotless, has made it manageable. Very important when you have six little ones to keep up with.)

The Frugality of Cleanliness: The Beauty of Five Minutes

Sorry it's been so long between posts. Several things took precedence this week, including a sudden emergency with my teeth. Everything's better now and hopefully there won't be any more interruptions for a while.

Back to the series. :)

I have found the most important thing in cleaning my house is my timer. It's not only a great motivator but it's also a wonderful limit.

In the past, I had a moderate cleaning day and a heavy cleaning day. On the moderate cleaning day, I did a fair amount of work, but the killer once a week was my heavy cleaning day. That was the day I would fill to the brim with all sorts of chores. By midday, I would be culling my list, trying to reschedule many items, or -- this happened more often than it should have -- I would decide I was just being lazy and get to work... which would leave me exhausted on the living room couch and snapping at any child who dared ask me for even a cup of water.

After all, I worked so hard for them all day, didn't I? I deserved a break.

Now, I realize I was teaching my children that housework was something to be dreaded, that it's okay for mommies to snap at their kids and that they should avoid trying to be homemakers at all costs if they wanted to have daily peace in their lives.

It wasn't until I began reading more (and especially after I read some of FlyLady's philosophy on cleaning) that I realized what I should do: let it go.

Well, kind of.

What I learned was that I had a horrible sense of time. I also had a lousy sense of priorities: the cobwebs in the corner were just as important in my mind as the crumbs under the dining room table. We'll get to that in a second. First, I had to learn how to become aware of time.

I remember the exact day I learned it, too. One of our daughters needed to have her floor cleaned. I asked my husband to watch the kids while I cleaned it. After what I felt was only a few minutes, he called out to me, asking me when I was going to be done. "Not much longer," I called back. What I felt were just a few more minutes went by and this time he was standing in the door, looking haggard.

I found out that a job I had thought would only take 30 minutes had actually taken an hour and a half... and I was only halfway done.

Needless to say, I stopped working on the room and my husband and I had a long, long talk which ended with him saying he felt I was task-based. I had a list of things that had to be done and time meant nothing to that list.

Of course, my easy counter was, "These are all important things." He didn't dispute that. However, he did point out that sometimes a person just runs out of time. It wasn't as easy to see in my world because I didn't have to report to anyone on a daily basis on my current projects, though the whole family felt the strain. It happened to him a lot at work where deadlines ruled everything he did. "Sometimes," he said, "you just have to decide that this is the best you can do and move on."

I really didn't like that. But he was right. And over the next year or two, I managed to get it through my head that I had to have a timer with me at all times to make sure I didn't do more than I could handle.

And in the process I learned something very important about cleaning and frugality: it is better to spend five minutes on several things, than two hours on one.

Sometimes, of course, I can't get around it. We were all ill last month and the month before because of misplaced priorities (a story for another blog) and, partially because I was the only one who didn't get sick, I ended up doing laundry non-stop almost every day. Quite a bit of my time was spent either doing laundry or (because I happen to be pregnant) resting from doing the laundry. However, even during times like that, I would try to spend five minutes at a time either cleaning the kitchen, or the living room, or one of the bedrooms (with the kids' help if they felt up to it). During times when he wasn't sick, my husband helped as well.

Because we all did a little, the house didn't completely fall apart. And because I limited myself to five minutes at a time, I was able to divide up my chores so that, ironically, I got more done and it was done better than if I had devoted larger blocks of time to it. And I wasn't completely exhausted at the end.

Now, how does this relate to frugality? Well, there's the general principle that it's the little things that often matter the most, but part of frugality is also learning to value time. Is it really worth my time right now to buy fast food when I know my kids won't be as healthy, will more than likely get sick from it since there's a bug going around, and the food won't fill them up nearly as much as even making sandwiches at home? In another half an hour I'm probably going to be dealing with cranky hungry kids with quite a bit less in my pocket to use for better food.

Is it really worth my time to make my own clothes? Is it really worth my time to go to the thrift store? To make my own bread? To buy cheap shoes? To buy expensive ones?

Each person has to make their own judgment on these items. At the moment, I don't make our bread. I buy a few loaves once a week from the clearance shelf at the local bread thrift store, along with some tortillas. This works for us because I feel my energy should be used toward other things, especially taking care of myself so my pregnancy goes well. I use the bread when I have an energy low and still need to feed the kids (they love sandwiches). This means I have a lot more energy during the week, which keeps us from relying on convenience foods as much as we might if I didn't try making bread each week. Also, it keeps our electricity down because the AC doesn't have to try to compete with the oven. And here in Texas, that's no small thing.

As for five minutes itself, there are many small, frugal things a person can do in five minutes or less: check the house to make sure lights are off, take the lint out of the dryer vent, write down the name of a favorite recipe that doesn't cost much, find out the cost of making a favorite recipe in the first place, list a bunch of unwanted stuff on Freecycle, look to see if anyone is giving anything away on Freecycle, check out the clearance racks at your favorite store, work a little on a garden (see Square Foot Gardening for more on this idea) and so on and so forth.

So, where does your time matter most? Next week, I'll talk about priorities.

The Frugality of Cleanliness: Your Sink

I happen to like FlyLady. She's very down-to-earth in her advice and doesn't try the "let's get everything clean now" approach I see far too often in books on cleaning. She'd rather get at the root of the problem. The very first thing she asks her "FlyBabies" to do is shine their sink (you can even get directions on how to do it from her website).

Because each sink is different (and each woman's means of cleaning her sink is different), I'm not going to go into the "how" of this simple, yet foundational project, here. I'm going to briefly discuss the "why" and how it relates to frugality.

FlyLady says it was her goal to keep her sink clean for one whole month. Others I've read have done the same thing, though with different items in their house (like this woman who started with her medicine cabinet). The House That Cleans Itself calls it your Home Base Zone... the one area in your house that must stay clean or you go crazy.

I could never find my Home Base Zone. I wanted everything to be clean, and with so many kids I've found that the only way to keep my sanity is to make sure key points of the whole house need to stay clean. I've learned that every room -- or zone of the house... more on that later -- has its own "shiny sink" (for me in the master bedroom it's the bed, office is the computer desk, bathroom is the toilet, laundry room is the top of the dryer, etc.) Making sure each one of these gets taken care of is vital to your sanity and frugality, but the most important I've found is your sink.

Now, here's where I tie this in. :)

Cleaning your sink means taking out the dishes. But once you've taken out the dishes, you no longer have any counter space (or oven space if things have gotten really bad). So, you do the dishes. You may spend an hour or so getting them all done -- some of you more. But once they're done, they're ready to use: no paper plates, no excuse for not making breakfast, and so on.

And if you set up a routine for doing the dishes (after every meal, run the dishwasher once a day, etc.) then you will probably find you're more able to cook at home, thus cutting down on eating out, a huge expense. There are plenty of cookbooks out there that cater to the idea of making your own freezer meals or meals inside of 30 min. It doesn't take long to find them, though I'll have some links at the end of this post for those who are interested. The point is that as you get better at keeping your sink clear, you will, at the same time, more than likely keep up with the dishes and that will allow your kitchen to become what it needs to be, what it was built to be: the place where you prepare food.

And, once again, making food at home is the best thing you can do when trimming your food budget. Not to mention the health benefits. I mean, have you heard about the 12 year old burger? I'm tempted to try that experiment myself but I don't want to spend the money. :)

Next time, I'll discuss the importance of having an after-meal routine and on routines in general.

***************************

The couple of links I promised:

Saving Dinner's Freezer Meals - I've personally tried these and think it's worth the money if you must have something fast and easy but don't want to spend the time and money eating out. And the recipes are much healthier than anything out there for a similar price. It's a .pdf you buy that contains the recipes for assembling and cooking the meal (after you take it out of the freezer), as well as a grocery list for all the items you'll need for the freezer meals. I'm not sure if she's incorporated this into the mega menu mailers, but I know that ours came with an addition that broke the dinners into various kinds of meats, so you didn't have to buy everything at once if you couldn't.

We enjoyed ours. The beauty of it is that the food often isn't cooked before freezing, so when you thaw the meal out and cook it, it you've retained many of the nutrients that would have been lost by cooking the food twice.

I haven't tried this particular cookbook of hers, but I have really enjoyed the recipes we've used from her other cookbooks: Sue Gregg's Meals in Minutes. Unlike Saving Dinner's recipes, these are not cooked fresh... they are reheated. I've taken extra and frozen it before, so I know that sometimes reheating a food doesn't taste bad at all. I'm including it for those families who would rather simply make double of whatever food they're having and freeze it. I also like her focus on whole foods as opposed to processed (Saving Dinner is more focused on that as well but Sue Gregg is more instructional than Saving Dinner).

The Frugality of Cleanliness: Aprons

You may wonder what cleanliness has to do with frugality. I know I used to think the two weren't at all related. I've since found otherwise. When your house is clean and organized, it's easier to find what you need (or find it in the first place). So much money and time get wasted in a disorganized house. I know because it's how I used to live and what I'm currently trying to avoid. I'm not perfect, but I've found several things that work and will share them with all of you.

First thing: get your hands on an apron or something similar and get dressed in something functional and nice each and every day.

Why: I know aprons are considered archaic nowadays. Or something you wear on special occasions. Or something you buy for your husband to wear while he burns meat on the grill. But I've been learning that aprons are much more than that and serve many needs within a home.

First, I've learned they're a necessity if I want to get dressed up (somewhat) for the day and want to keep my clothes looking halfway decent. And getting dressed up really is a necessity if you want to take your position as a stay at home wife/mother seriously. I began thinking about this when we had a neighbor come over to welcome us into the neighborhood... wearing what she called a "housedress". It was a simple t-shirt knit jumper over a white t-shirt in a lovely shade of light green with two pockets on the front. It was simple and beautiful at the same time.

Now, I have always loved jeans. No one can tell me they can't be feminine because I absolutely love pairing up soft feminine fabrics with them and sometimes even wearing pretty jewelry. I love the contrast.

However, I had noticed that I'd stopped wearing pretty tops and had begun to go with t-shirts. Why? Because kids are hard on pretty clothes, whether or not the kids are the ones wearing them. I didn't even tuck the t-shirts in because lately I'm either pregnant or still trying to recover my stomach.

That's why that housedress made such a big impression on me. So, for this pregnancy, I made myself a housedress that I thought would work for the next several months. It's pretty and functional and not so nice that I would cringe if one of the kids got his/her PB covered hands on it. And it has pockets! Glorious pockets! However, even though it's not too nice, it's nice enough that I would rather not wipe my hands on it or stand by a hot stove making bacon in it. So, I made myself an apron, again with pockets (I'm finding I need about four if I truly want my hands free).

The apron isn't pretty. It kinds of is, but it's made out of a very durable kind of fabric and that means it's a bit stiff. But it's perfect for protecting clothes. And because I chose a pattern that has gathers, it looks surprisingly feminine.

So, now if anyone comes to visit, I don't look frazzled or frumpy. In fact, I feel incredibly comfortable because the skirt of the dress lets my pregnant tummy do whatever it wants, and the apron can be hung up until it's time to go to work again.

Another reason for wearing an apron goes beyond the practicality of it and touches on the need for a uniform. In the book Sidetracked Home Executives the authors make the point that staying at home is an important job. Dressing as if you weren't going to work tells your body and mind that it's not. By dressing in a "uniform" of sorts, you're telling yourself that you're going to work and that's where your focus will naturally be until you change clothes -- or take off your apron.

Finally, there's no better feeling in the world than to have one of your children bury his face in your apron when he gives you a hug. There's a sweetness to it that goes beyond words.

In spite of what I've said, you don't have to wear an apron... something that serves the same purpose will work. FlyLady has vests that work well or you can make/buy your own. If you want to make your own apron (better and cheaper than buying one pre-made) you can go here for free patterns. Personally, I like the freedom an apron gives; vests make me feel almost claustrophobic. But the point is to have something that helps you feel what you already know: you are doing a very important work in your home.

This is the foundation. Next time, I'll discuss why maintaining a shiny sink (and all that goes with it) is so important to living a frugal life.

(P.S. Don't forget your hair. Even if all you do is comb it and pull it back in a ponytail, it's better than leaving it alone because "no one else will see it". Your kids and husband are not "no one" and your kids will remember if you never looked put together while they were growing up.)

30 Days of Nothing, week one

Ugh. The kids were sick this weekend, so "nothing" turned out to be fairly expensive. Still, I feel proud of myself that I only got things we needed. I didn't buy anything with the idea of "oh maybe we'll need it someday" or get extra of anything. It's fascinating seeing what we truly need in our house. Finding that bottom line has been a revelation in many ways.

If you haven't started this challenge yet, I highly recommend it.

The Art of Thrift Store Shopping, Part Two

Last week I talked about the pre-shopping part of thrift store shopping. Now, I'm going to take you through one of my more successful trips so that you can get a sense of how I do it. The key part of this by the way is speed. If you try to find "good deals" you'll end up spending an hour or two. Focus only on what you need and things go a lot faster.

And now, one of my trips.

Finding what you want

We were given a set of mattresses through a friend of a friend and I was thrilled. It was high time for my youngest to move into a bigger bed. Now, I just needed sheets for it: two sets if I could manage it.

First tips: try to go to a store near a place you'll be going anyway (this helps cut down on the frustration if there's nothing there), go when you have more than one item you're looking for, and set limits.

So, I went to a thrift store that's near a place where I do part of my grocery shopping. I set both a time limit and a budget limit. Because I wasn't just going there for sheets -- I knew we needed coffee cups, some Christmas toys because I like to spread out the cost, and maternity clothes -- I budgeted for those plus a little extra just in case I found some small item that wasn't on my list but would help our family (there are some things that aren't high priority but are difficult to find at thrift stores).

Because I was doing this as part of my weekly grocery shopping, I set my time limit at 30 min. I could do it in less than that, but I wanted to give myself some room just in case I found several options and wanted some time to think about it.

Next tip: be open to possibilities... within reason.

When I walked into the store, I went straight for the back where the dishes are kept because those are very easy to look through. On my way there I passed the book section and got the feeling I should stop and look for a book. So, knowing that when I do I often find something I didn't even know we needed, I followed that prompting and before long I've narrowed it down to one particular hardback book. It's a decent price, though a bit pricey considering my budget, and it fits in with some of the stuff my husband and I have talked about. I get the feeling the book isn't for me though... it's for him. I put it back on the shelf and get the feeling once again I should buy it. So, in spite of my doubt (do books really need to cost that much and why can't I go to the library for this one?), I put it in the cart. Just below it I see a book on cake decorating that I feel I should get. That also goes in the cart (I'm ambivalent about this book for the rest of my trip because it's about a subject I'm not interested in at all).

I eventually find out that one of my friends is far more artistic than I thought, so the book gets marked for her. Also, I later find out that the book I bought for my husband has helped him in more areas than I thought.

Back to the trip: throughout this, I'm still keeping things within my budget. That's the key. As long as I spend the overall amount I've previously decided on, I'm still okay with these extra purchases.

Next tips: try to only go to the areas you feel you need to visit, and don't spend a lot of time in those areas. If you must go to a different area of the store, visit it as part of your route through... don't make a special trip for it.

Then, on to the dishes. I'm in luck today... there's a set of three coffee cups in a shade of blue that will match the blue in our plates. And they're not only in a solid color but I really like the way they're shaped. I was kind of hoping for a larger set, or something bigger, sturdier but these are very nice and I get the feeling they'll grow on me (they did and have become my favorites).

Next, come the maternity clothes. I "scan" the rack or, in other words, I very quickly flip through the clothes hanging up... very, very quickly. Because I already have an idea of what colors I'm looking for, and I'm really trying to keep a coordinated wardrobe to maximize efficiency, I'm able to dismiss any clothes that don't fit within that color scheme. Today I can't find anything, no pants or shirts or even a decent dress, so I begin to glance at the tops of the racks where the toys are kept as I make my way to the area where the sheets are kept.

And there, in among the toys is a cleaning caddy. And it's a good one, made of decent plastic, unlike many I've been seeing in the retail stores. And it's one tenth the price of the ones in the stores.

This was a lower priority item since I'd found substitutes that kind of worked, but I have never seen one of these in any store I've visited. I've especially never seen one at this price. It's a hideous shade of brown but who cares! It's a good cleaning caddy! So, it also goes into the cart as part of the extra in my budget that I talked about earlier.

Since then, it has been more than useful to me, making cleaning up after all our kids much, much easier.

Don't see any toys that might work for Christmas, so it's on to the next item: the sheets. The only good set I can find for a twin size bed is $10 for the whole set. And that isn't bad at all, especially considering how nice the fabric is, but I was hoping to find two sets or at least one more fitted sheet. And I was also hoping to find something more suited for a little kid; these sheets look a little too grown up in their classic-ness.

Sheets are the one thing I don't like buying at this thrift store because I can never be entirely sure from the way they're folded on the hanger if they're fitted or flat and that's one thing that isn't written on the tag. So, I have to carefully unfold part of it and search for the elastic. Impatient as I am, this drives me nuts. Thankfully, I've found one set (even if it's not exactly what I wanted) and it's made of good fabric in a classic design that won't clash too bad with my baby's room, so I'm not disappointed.

I still have some money left in my budget and decide to look in two more areas: towels and men's clothes.

I find several towels in good condition for a couple of dollars each. I really don't care about color but I do care about fluffiness: these are nice and fluffy. I get a few so that everyone can finally have their own towel. (This was my fault. I just hadn't kept track of how many towels were getting worn out.) I almost get some hand towels that match the colors of the master bathroom and decide against it. If I find what I'm looking for in the men's section, I'll be over budget.

Next tip: when looking for clothes, triple check for stains, tears, poor construction, etc. You may think you've looked but you may not have looked hard enough. Think, "Why on earth would someone give this away?"

Finally, I take a look for some shirts for Mr. Vinca. "Scanning" the racks, I find a couple of shirts he can wear to work (one rayon and one a lovely cotton/linen blend in a wonderful color for him) and a more casual shirt that he can lounge around the house in. And it's a baseball type shirt at that. He'll love it.

After checking all over very carefully for any rips, tears, stains, or any other reason I could possibly think of for someone to get rid of such nice shirts, I find a very small stain on the upper corner of the baseball shirt. It doesn't look too bad... I think I might be able to get it out with some stain lifter I have at home (I find later that I was right). The other two shirts don't seem to have anything wrong with them, so I check them again just to be sure. The one time I didn't triple check a garment, it turned out to have an unmendable hole under the arm. Well, I could have mended it but it would have looked really bad. I'm not going through that again.

I still don't see anything and each shirt is between $2-3. So, in the cart they go.

And that ends my trip. This was a very, very good trip. I don't usually find such great deals or sometimes even something I can use until I find what I want. There have been times I've gone and haven't found anything we need.

I take the things to my car and do my grocery shopping, still inside the 30 minute limit.

What to do what you can't find what you need

I look at Stuff like wind currents. Stuff is created by someone and passed along to someone else, who passes it along to someone else or else more stuff is created. And eventually you will get the things you need if you're looking and you're willing to make do with what you have in the meantime.

Movie spoilers follow... just so you know.

To use an example from a movie (can you tell I'm a movie buff?) in Cast Away, Tom Hanks' character spends years on a deserted island. He learns to make do with what the island can give him, which is really very little. It's a hard life and yet he manages to adapt and not go too crazy in the process (Wilson the Volleyball aside).

And then, one day, part of a port-a-potty washes up on the beach. Now, up to this point, his character has resigned himself to living on the island because he doesn't have the strength to make it over this one part of the waves that rush to the island. So when he sees that ripped up piece, he doesn't see trash... he sees a sail.

I feel many things in our life are like that. I feel sometimes we look at our lives and say we have nothing when in fact we have quite a bit; we just need to expand our definitions a bit. Okay, maybe a lot. But eventually, whatever you truly need in life will wash up on the shore, and hopefully, by that point in your life, you'll be able to see it for what it is and have the strength and creativity to use it. It's just the nature of Stuff.

The Art of Thrift Store Shopping, Part One

Inspired by a post on HeavenlyHomemakers.com, I've decided to write today about how I've found good deals at my local thrift stores.

For those with little time, I'll summarize:

* Start with a plan (limit time and money)
* Where you live matters (some areas just don't have good deals... in those cases it might be better to find other sources... also, try to go to thrift stores that are near a place you usually go anyway)
* Make sure of the layout (know your store before you shop)
* Thrift stores don't have very little instant gratification so anticipate needs

Now, for the details. I discuss the four items above in this post. Next week I'll post part 2 where I'll take y'all through one of my thrift store excursions while I discuss the rest of the main points, such as how I quickly find what I want and the importance of planning a little extra in your budget.

Start with a plan

I know this sounds obvious, but I've known too many women who drift through thrift stores with no idea what they should buy... they're just looking for A Good Deal. Sometimes this is all right. When I have extra money, I sometimes like to wander through one of the larger thrift stores in our area just to see what they have. But even then, I try to do it when I have a clear idea of what our family needs. And this doesn't just end at clothes.

When it comes to shopping, I have two lists. One is for food, and the other is "non-perishables"... or, in other words, anything that isn't food. :) I used to try to keep it all in my head, and now I just have a special section in my weekly shopping list where I can write all these things down. Some non-perishables can take a long time to find at a decent price: sheets, some clothes, dishes, etc. Then again, this depends on your definition of decent. I refuse to spend more than $2 on a set of coffee mugs. And I absolutely refuse to spend $20 on 300 count twin size sheets when I've been able to find them at the thrift store for less than $10 for a complete set.

At this point in my planning, I try to have a general idea of color scheme because I like it when things match. It makes the house much more hospitable if I have a general theme going, if only in color. I'm not quite as picky about things like sheets and towels as long as the kids and my husband like them and they kind of, sort of go with the rest of the house.

Now, at this stage, it's very likely that you'll discover something that you didn't think was a big priority that actually was. My husband's clothes, for example. At 6'3" he's pretty tall and it's difficult to find clothes for him. He also tends not to complain about not having enough work shirts or pants. Because of this, I've had times when he's been down to one or two shirts and I didn't know it (and I'm the one who should be keeping track of this anyway since I'm the one who actually washes them... one of the side-effects of having a large family). At this point (and I'll explain more later) a thrift store is often not the best option. It's at this point that I feel no guilt in spending $20 to get my husband a couple of decent work shirts that fit him (on clearance of course... if I can manage it). If you go through the house, or even just take note as you take care of the house during the day, you'll catch a lot of needs and everyone in your house will thank you for it.

So, you've looked through your house, discovered what you need to get for your family, and now you've either written it down or at least have a clear idea in your head.

But is a thrift store the best option for those items?

Where you live matters

My family would joke that the best place to get candy at Halloween was never our neighborhood. The best place to go trick-or-treating was a higher-class subdivision 30 min away where homeowners gave out so much candy you could fill a king-size pillowcase with it within an hour or two.

I am not kidding about the candy. They really gave out that much.

Of course, this was back in the late nineties, but the point still remains: nicer neighborhoods tend to get rid of nicer stuff. The nicer neighborhoods will often have the best deals at thrift stores. I've found beautiful dresses and gorgeous sweaters, not to mention very nice, durable jeans back in the days when I wore them every... single... day and all of them were in the nicer neighborhoods. Garage sales in those neighborhoods also tend to have nicer items, though unfortunately the people who hold them haven't usually gone to enough garage sales to know how to price them, but that's another essay. :) The not-so-nice neighborhoods sometimes have very good finds, but it takes longer to find them.

I've only spent a couple of years at a college town, but I'm finding it's also a decent place for thrift stores.

I mention this because some people get frustrated with thrift store shopping and rightfully so. It will rarely have the instant gratification that a typical retail store has. But knowing location has a part to play in the quality of a thrift store might keep one from missing out on a great deal and that's the point of going to the thrift store in the first place.

Which brings me to my next point: the best way to find out about the quality of a thrift store is to actually step inside.

Know your store

Every time I visit a thrift store for the first time, I rarely shop. If I do, it won't be until the end of my visit. At first, I try to get a feel for where everything is located, as well as quality, so that in the future my trips (if I come back) will be much shorter.

First, I'll try to get an idea of how they organize their clothes and where the different kinds of clothes are since that's the main selling point in the store. Maternity clothes and specialty clothes, as well as sheets and bedding are one of the things that take priority in my search since some stores have a special rack for those items and some mix it in with other things or shove them off to a corner. At the same time, I take a look at the quality of the items themselves. I won't expect high-quality but I will keep an eye out for the amount of times I come across something I wouldn't expect to find in a thrift store.

Then, I'll look at the items around the perimeter of the store, the hardware, dishes, appliances, furniture, etc. That way, if I see a lot of good items in a particular department I'll know which store will likely have what I need for that particular kind of item. For example, there's a store to the south of me, run by a church organization, that gets furniture from a big name furniture store. Although I haven't purchased anything from there yet, I know the quality is excellent and I'll get a lot for my money if I ever need to get new furniture. Even the not-so-nice furniture in the back of the store is beautiful and often a fantastic deal.

If I make this overview part of my thift store shopping, I'll wait until I've looked at all the sections (some of these thrift stores can be pretty big) and then I'll do my actual shopping.

How thrift stores are different

There is one thing that needs to be understood from the start: thrift stores may try to mimic retail stores but they operate in a very different way.

Because retail stores get several of the same item, in several sizes, and hold them there for a few months, chances are good that the dress you saw that looked so gorgeous will still be there when you decide to pick it up a couple of weeks later. In fact, it might even be on sale by then if they're getting rid of their inventory. The gratification is often instant unless you're very picky or very frugal (me and me).

Thrift stores depend on donations and that usually means one item of its kind on the rack. So, if you see something you need, you will need to get it right then. More often, you'll spend time looking through racks and shelves and come up empty-handed because they didn't have it and there's no guarantee that they will at any point in the near future. If the need is bad, you may have to settle for a deeply discounted item that will do until you can get what you really want. If it's not and this is just part of a larger excursion, it's easier to let it go and wait for next time.

The art of thrift store shopping is contained within the balance between getting what you need and settling for what's there. And every situation is different.

This often means it's a good idea to go on a regular basis. Some go once a month; one woman I know goes every week. My time is limited, so I go every other month if I can unless we really need something. Then I'll try to go more often.

Also, it's a very good idea to try to anticipate the needs of your family. If you can see some of the towels are starting to look ratty, or you've had a baby and realize that you are now short one dining chair if the baby used a dining chair, then it would be a good idea to start looking now for what you need.

The best option, of course, is to use several means to get what you need. I look in the thrift stores, but I also check out Craigslist, eBay, the local papers, Freecycle, not to mention putting the word out among friends and garage sales. By trying several different approaches, we've always been able to get the things we truly need and sometimes a little extra.

In part 2, I'll take you through a particularly good thrift store shopping trip I had not too long ago in our little town. And it wasn't even an upscale one. I just got lucky. :)

My sense of entitlement

There's an excellent post by Owlhaven on her blog about the 30 days of nothing challenge and our sense of entitlement. We've discovered things are tighter with our finances than we realized and this challenge really appeals to me. Could we really make it through a whole month buying nothing? Well, we'd have to buy fruits and vegetables, and there would most certainly be a couple of staple items like flour and rice... but what about the rest?

I completely understood where she was coming from about the sense of entitlement. Heck, I bought a package of name brand graham cracker cookies from a store with high prices on that particular item just because I felt I deserved it. And I made a special late-night trip to the store as well to get it. It had been a hard week.

Do I really deserve it? No. I could give myself a much better treat with a cup of red raspberry tea or a walk in the cool fall air.

But that sense of entitlement ends up clouding my thinking and before I know it, I'm making a special trip to the store just so that I can have something that I'm going to regret eating before I've finished the package. I'm wasting time, money, and energy, not to mention valuable time with my husband before we go to sleep, all so I can get something I "deserve".

And what's really funny is that all the things I use to justify it, are things that really aren't that much at all. Other people go through much worse than I've currently been going through. What makes me think my trials make me special?

So, this month, I'm only getting what our family really and truly needs. I don't think I'm up to the absolute nothing the challenge requires, but to only get what we absolutely need... I think I can do that.

The Edge of Frugality

Before I describe my current efforts, I feel I need to give a little background. I mean, I could just start writing about sewing, cooking, cleaning and somehow managing to feed eight people on about $100 a week but the places we draw the line are different from some other families. So, I'll explain.

Everyone has their line in the sand. Everyone. I can't think of one person who doesn't have a financial line that says, "You are now leaving Frugal and entering Cheap." However, each person draws it in a different place, either because of circumstances or values. For me and my family, we care very much about quality on some things. Food, for example. We try our best to eat as healthy as we can and we do surprisingly well. So, even though I could save quite a bit by buying white bread and white rice, I choose to buy brown rice (preferably through an Asian market in bulk) and other whole grains, some of which sound a bit exotic. We aren't able to grow a garden (horrible soil here and we don't have the money to buy anything extra for gardening at the moment) so we buy loss leader vegetables and fruits. Soon, I'll have a different blog up for our efforts to heal ourselves naturally on a limited budget but that's another topic.

The point is, there's a lot of people who would think we were crazy for trying to live on so little, especially when we put such a high amount in the food we eat.

Our view is that better food keeps us healthier and out the hospital: medical bills are a big reason people go into debt.

So, what do I mean when I talk about the "edge" if it's that malleable? I'm talking about the point where you sacrifice true quality of life. There are many things people can live without. My experiences as a child taught me there are some things that a person must have: food, water, clothing/warmth, and joy. The first three are pretty obvious. The last one isn't but if you look at people who are truly happy, who have found joy in their lives, you'll also find that they often only have what they need and a little extra. The surplus they create tends to circulate through the community benefiting everyone.

Take George Bailey for example.

George Bailey, from It's a Wonderful Life, hated his town. He hated the life he felt had been pushed on him by circumstance. He hated Potter, who only cared about himself and what he could extract from others and probably hated him as one of those circumstances keeping him in Bedford Falls instead of letting him wander the world building and creating in exotic places. This resentment and hatred built in him, in spite of the good he managed to do for others, until finally one day he snapped. His life, he felt, had been a waste because he had never done the great things he'd wanted, or been as successful as his friends--Sam Wainwright, business mogul, being the most prominent. He couldn't even provide for his family and, because of someone else's mistake, would end up in jail.

The film/story is fairly well known now. There's no real need to go through the ending--how George Bailey discovers that his life, no matter how it may end, was never really a waste. My point is that part of discovering the edge of frugality is discovering joy. Just as George Bailey had to learn that there are more sources of security than money, and that a life of service is worth more than any investment in a bank, keeping joy in our lives is vital to truly living a frugal life.

George Bailey had more than he thought he had. So it often is with us. And as long as we can keep joy in our lives, then we know we haven't crossed that line yet. We're still only being frugal.