Where I have been

Sorry it's taken me so long to blog. It's getting pretty late in my pregnancy and I've been focusing a lot on what I need to do so that my husband won't be overwhelmed when he takes over the house for the first week after the baby is born.

These things include:

• Lots of decluttering and cleaning
• Meal planning
• Freezing as many meals as I can so that all he has to do is cook the food
• Gathering necessary baby supplies
• Figuring out Thanksgiving and getting as much of that frozen/prepared in case the baby shows up early.
  

The only new item on the list is the meals. In the past, we've relied on our church to help us because that's what everyone in our church did. If you needed meals for any reason, all you had to do was call the ladies' auxiliary organization and they would organize a series of dinners for at least a week: cheerfully organize it at that. And since it was expected that everyone would return the favor, no one felt put upon. It was beautiful.

However, that has changed. I'm not entirely sure of the reason. I know that it comes from the top leaders of our church.

Anyway, here's the revised policy: meals will only be given on an emergency basis (i.e. things that are unplanned). Even then, meals will only be given for the first few days afterward. Beyond that, members need to coordinate with their local leaders.

The point of this change is to encourage self-sufficiency. After all, if you know you're going in for surgery or having a baby, you have several months sometimes to plan for the event. I think there's another reason, though, that isn't being said but that I've seen in regards to bringing meals over. I've seen it a lot because we have two children with special needs and that includes diet. There's just too many places in the old way of doing things where people with good intentions could really put a family in a bind. One time, we were given a meal we could NOT eat (this surprised us because food allergies and special considerations are always taken into account when the organization would draw up the list). We couldn't call up the family who donated the meal and tell them, "I'm sorry but there's no way we could eat this. If we do, we'll all get sick, especially my two eldest who can't handle many of the foods you've included in this meal. So, do you think you could bring us something else, something we can eat?" I've forgotten what we did. I think we broke out the peanut butter and bread... or we might have ordered out. I don't remember. But I do remember how disappointed we all were.

As wonderful as the system can be when it works (and when it works it works phenomenally well) it can also a breeding ground for resentment.

So, no more meals. A friend of mine from church got a little ticked at the policy and will be bringing us a meal for that first night afterward, and another friend will give us a meal after that, but from that point on we're on our own. And you know what? I don't really mind.

So, today is going to be spent on preparing the "birth room" (a.k.a. our bedroom) and planning out when to make these meals, as well as get a couple in the freezer. That, combined with keeping up with six kids, should take up most of my week... so, if you don't hear from me much over the next few weeks, that's what I'm doing.

Just so you know. :)